Today, I’m excited to bring you not only a list of transformative habits but also a fresh, real-world example to illustrate their impact. Experience has taught me that practical cases are the most effective way to truly grasp and internalize new concepts.

What I’m about to share are key practices that I not only use personally but also deeply integrate into my training sessions, workshops, and executive mentoring. These aren’t just theories; they are tools to be actively worked on, refined, and applied in unison with your teams, ensuring a collaborative and dynamic learning experience.

I hope it inspires you and makes you reflect:

• Leading with empathy and using emotional intelligence
• My keys to introducing change
• The art of being a Mentor
• Resources to encourage viewpoints
• How to drive diversity
• Best-kept climate tips
• How learning to listen improves your leadership

Today I’m going to focus on the last habit, that of Learning to Listen. Many of us don’t take enough care of it, because we don’t see how badly we do it, and the negative impact it has on relationships with others, both with internal and external clients.

How To Improve Your Listening Skills

In the last session with a client, who is a Director and owner of a hotel in Girona, he explained that his 10-year-old niece told him the previous night at a family dinner to stop interrupting her when she was speaking and to stop saying sometimes that she hadn’t said something before; to please be quiet and listen to her.

As my client’s feelings towards his niece are of unconditional love and they both have great respect for each other, he took her words constructively and found it not difficult to accept that she was right.

When he explained this to me in the following session, he asked why no one at work ever told him this, since he clearly does it there too.

Moreover, he said that he often gets annoyed when someone tells him that they had already told him something because he doesn’t remember it (basically because he doesn’t pay enough attention).

I reminded him that when such a situation had occurred at his work and we had analyzed it afterward, he told me that he felt attacked or offended. I reiterated to him that with such behavior, he stops appearing approachable and accessible, and sometimes even becomes intimidating to his interlocutor.

As between my client and I, a foundation of trust and mutual respect has been established since the first session, I tell him things objectively and bluntly to be able to help him, of course.

However, not everyone learns at first that there is a behavior that we need to change, especially when it comes to something about our personality. Among other things, we don’t think it needs to be changed, with the excuse that others already know us, or because “as I am the boss…”.

We talked again about how this situation is counterproductive, as a manager needs communication and understanding to be two-way, especially now that we are working on internal quality, analyzing their procedures, to eliminate errors, repeated work, breakages, and inefficiencies.

With the collaboration and transparency of everyone, we are going to achieve that continuous improvement.

Then two related topics emerged, which I often see:

• On one hand, the issue of not being approachable or getting angry when feeling criticized (lacking self-governance and self-control).
• On the other hand, the failure to actively listen. It’s a cycle, each feeding into the other.

The author Daniel Goleman, expert in emotional intelligence and relationships at work, says: “There is a better way to listen and speak: “To Be Present.”

 

When a boss or leader speaks, they want to be heard and not interrupted while giving directions or advice.

They might think that this is sufficient or that it is their job; however, this approach not only fails to foster teamwork, innovation, or creativity, but also, believing in their “power,” they do not actively listen to their subordinates, interrupt them, and do not let them finish.

That’s why the manager later doesn’t remember being informed about certain issues, because they were not paying attention (not practicing active listening). What needs to be practiced is what is called “Being Present.”

In the last session we had with his Reception and Room managers, there was a substantial improvement in the relationship between both teams. They collaborate more, communicate better, do not judge, listen to each other, and as a result, are more efficient.

The atmosphere was calm, and the conversation was relaxed, not like at the beginning, where they criticized each other between departments, always on the defensive. They work hard, as is the nature of the sector, but they are happy and motivated, errors have been minimized to new issues, but not recurrent ones, and there are fewer expenses and more income.

The director doesn’t have to work as many hours as before, because he now delegates more and trusts more, as he is seeing positive results, such as an increase in customer satisfaction and feedback, so he is also more serene.

In conclusion: in a conversation, do not take an attitude of “power”, do not interrupt the other person, give them their time, and make sure you understand the message.

A good trick is what is called reflective listening, where you repeat in your own words what you have understood. In the end, ask if something is not clear.

Before judging, allow them to clarify doubts. Of course, afterward, you can and should give your opinion/advice or feedback.

Say what you think with the utmost respect: demand of yourself what you demand of others, in short, always try to tune in and also empower.

You will get better results because we are talking about teamwork.

Don’t forget to be more humble. We all make mistakes and the important thing is not to hide them, but to bring them to light for analysis, to learn, to modify what is necessary, with the goal that it does not happen again.

I end with this quote that I love and always use when asked about the benefits of leadership training, from American cultural anthropologist Margaret Mead (1901-1978), who said:

“Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful committed individuals can change the world. In fact, it’s the only thing that ever has.”. 

Written by Susana Jiménez, Founder, Advisor, Trainer, Speaker, and Coach at Aprofitalents.

For more information on how we can assist your company or team in resolving internal relationship and communication issues through the SKILL-EQ methodology or customized training, please fill out the form on the website, write to info@aprofitalents.com, or send a WhatsApp message to +34 606711 757.